WERE you an ad executive at some time in the last few decades? If so, you have an a lot to answer for given these insane slogans.
‘It’s not for girls’ – Yorkie
If you run a company which, presumably, would like to make money, alienating half of your potential customers seems like a left-field move. While the adverts were a huge success at the tail end of lad culture, in the age of the incel they just seem a bit sad.
‘The more you play with it the harder it gets’ – Sega Megadrive
People into computers already had a reputation as lonely bedroom masturbators even before Sega waded in with this slogan. While intended to be tongue-in-cheek, all it did was convince another generation of parents that video games were the preserve of perverted degenerates.
‘Full of Eastern promise’ – Fry’s Turkish Delight
The Eastern countries of the world include not only the Middle East but also places like China, Japan, Tibet and Mongolia, all of which have fascinating histories and rich and varied cultures. However, it seems Fry’s were convinced you could evoke all of this with some worryingly pink goop encased in low-quality chocolate. They were wrong.
‘The best a man can get’ – Gillette
What an awfully low bar to set an entire gender. If the best thing that ever happens to you is owning a razor with three blades – four if you’re willing to spend an extra fiver – then something has gone horribly wrong in your life.
‘A newspaper, not a snooze paper’ – The Mail on Sunday
The Mail on Sunday wanted everyone to know that it was full of exciting, salacious stories and grainy, long lens shots of minor celebrities wearing swimming costumes. Maybe they couldn’t think up a catchy slogan that encapsulated the way in which their brand of journalism would contribute to the collapse of functional democracies.
‘By ‘eck, it’s gorgeous’ – Boddingtons
The advert, which featured a woman in a gondola and parodied the Cornetto adverts of the time, was great. The issue here is anyone thinking it was reasonable to describe a flat, pissy ale with too much head as ‘gorgeous’. Disgraceful.