Lifestyle
BRITISH drinkers have confirmed that any alcoholic drink that does not make you vomit, start a fight or urinate in or on furniture is just fizzy pop.
A MAN who completed a DNA test has turned up at work with a bizarre accent.
THE chaos and disruption of an invasion of middle-class mums and their spoilt children makes a Hell’s Angels rampage look like nothing, a cafe owner has claimed.
A WOMAN believes she has the God-given right to see any new kitchen that has been installed even if she barely knows the householders in question.
A SINGLE man with no responsibilities and lots of disposable income believes he is more stressed than everyone else in his office.
A BLOCK of cheddar has told the fresh ingredients for a healthy meal they will be ignored for two weeks before going in the bin.
A GRANDMOTHER has confirmed that she has reached an age where socially accepted standards of behaviour no longer apply to her.
A MAN is desperately trying to convince his wife that he needs to spend £500 on a 'compact' flamethrower.
A WOMAN who claims she ‘loves hoovering’ is trying to erase something deeply sinister from her past, her husband suspects.
A JOB interviewer was forced to pretend a candidate with a tattoo on his neck was just like any other candidate.