Lifestyle

‘YOU scrub up nicely’ actually means ‘normally you look pretty shit’, recipients of the compliment feel.

A WOMAN who lives for the weekend has had yet another dreadful weekend, she has admitted.

A WOMAN who visits with no prior warning is a pain in the arse, her friends have confirmed.

A WEALTHY arsehole likes to make visitors guess the cost of his extremely over-priced belongings.

A WOMAN is getting the most out of her daily mindfulness session by planning how to fuck up people who have wronged her.

A MIDDLE class family from London has unveiled plans to go back to basics by ‘camping’ in a yurt that has a proper toilet, a power shower and a free-standing bath.

A MAN who insists on opening doors and pulling out chairs for ‘ladies’ is not a Knight of the Round Table and actually a bit creepy.  

For some reason I have made the decision to spend these years – my entire 20s – with my face hidden behind a massive, stupid, fucking beard.

A COUPLE who posted hundreds of idyllic holiday photos on Facebook actually had a horrific week of blazing rows and food poisoning.  

A MAN believes the quantity of water he drinks is really important to other people.