Lifestyle

A MAN'S 'signature dish' is actually his only dish, it has been confirmed.

THE UK has begun its annual search for a warm hat that does not make it look like a complete and utter tosser.

BEING a Pagan who frolicks naked in the woods is much better than being a capitalist pig, experts have confirmed.

A COUPLE who are doing their Christmas shopping at independent retailers instead of buying the same stuff cheaper online have been told to f*ck off.

A WOMAN will not put McDonald's food in her mouth but will put actual bleach on her anus, she has confirmed.

A GYM has redefined the concept of 'temporary' after a shower has been 'temporarily out of order' for more than a quarter of a year.

EVERYTHING in Britain, from trees to lozenges, has its place in the class system. But is your dog the same social class as you, or does it look like that because it’s constantly sneering?

A GROUP of women having a lovely time dancing in a club have spotted a man sashaying towards them.

A DAD inexplicably keeps having unnecessary bonfires of items that could simply be put in one of the wheelie bins.

ARE you a super-competitive mum or dad who will not tolerate failure by your six-year-old’s football team? Here’s how to intervene in an unhinged way.