Lifestyle

TWENTY grown men are irrationally continuing monthly payments towards a stag do they know will be f**king horrific.

NORTHERNERS have pleaded with the government not to force them to go out on the lash in the Midlands. 

A MAN has admitted that, although his evenings are the most precious moments of his day, he just cannot be f**ked doing anything with them.

A CAT that refuses to eat dry food appears to have no qualms about enthusiastically licking its own anus.

A MAN who spent a fortune on a top-of-the-range outdoor jacuzzi insists on shoehorning it into every interaction.  

NEED to make everyone around you lose the will to live? Infuriating toddler James Bates explains how to push people over the edge.

THERE’S no point being middle class unless you’re able to out-do everyone else. Keep ahead of the Joneses with these entitled evening classes.

PEOPLE change, and one day you wake up, look in the mirror and realise you’ve become exactly what you despise. Here are the key signs.

AUTUMN, the season of mists and limited edition coffees is here, but which matches your twat level at this time of year?

FOOTBALLERS enjoy a balloonful. Youths at lockdown raves go mad for it. But what is ‘hippy crack’ and could it become the drug à la mode for relaxed kitchen suppers? Lord Denys Finch Hatton investigates.