Lifestyle

'What the hell am I doing here?' asks remote worker still living in London

A WOMAN who still works from home in an overpriced London flat has started to question her living arrangements.

How to buy your first house in your 20s, by a twat with rich parents

GETTING on the property ladder as a young millennial is all about managing your budget, saving scrupulously and being given a £85,000 deposit. Here’s my tips:

Couple considering acquiring small in-bred creature to shit in their house

A COUPLE are thinking of getting a knee-high animal with a long history of inbreeding so they can clear up its excrement.

IKEA assembly instructions show you exactly where and how to completely lose your shit

FLAT-PACK assembly instructions from IKEA now come with pictures demonstrating how to smash them up in a blind rage.

Couple who hired expensive vintage campervan pretending to enjoy it

A COUPLE who spent a ruinously large amount of money hiring a campervan to drive around Cornwall don’t want to admit they are cold, tired and hungry.

The middle-class family's guide to a caravan holiday

JUST because you can’t get to Crete this year doesn’t mean that you can’t have a cut-above holiday. Here's how to survive a week in a caravan designed for the working classes:

Man heroically assembles flatpack using instructions

A MAN has somehow managed to construct a small piece of flatpack furniture using the instructions that came with it.

'It is what it is' and other f**king annoying meaningless phrases

STUMPED for something worthwhile to say but still want to contribute to a conversation? Here are some totally useless and highly annoying phrases to consider.

Man wearing vest trying to be cool about nude upper arms

A MAN wearing a vest is trying not to feel self-conscious about his upper-arm nudity.

Gap year wanker embarks on journey of self-discovery to Plymouth

A GAP-YEAR twat has set out on a year-long journey of self-discovery all the way from Plymouth to Bournemouth, he has confirmed.