A DICKISH couple are certain people from miles around will gratefully gaze at the huge free fireworks display they are putting on.
Tom Logan and Eleanor Shaw spent hundreds on a dazzling array of domestic explosives, both for their own viewing pleasure and the gratification of demonstrating how much money they have to waste.
Shaw said: “Like everyone else, we love bonfire night, especially when we get to set off an eye-wateringly expensive amount of legal incendiary devices.
“We know the rest of the street will appreciate us doing it for them, despite the miserable, joyless whining about frightened pets on the local WhatsApp group. We put up with their cats crapping in our garden so I’m sure they can cope with our ostentatious show of wealth masquerading as a public service.”
Neighbour Martin Bishop said: “I can’t hear the telly, the gerbil looks like it’s had an aneurysm, and the dog has just shat on the rug.
“I’d chuck a f**king banger through their letterbox to give them a taste of their own medicine if it wasn’t for the fact we’re an adjoining semi.”
