A MAN is withholding any views thoughts on the death of Iran’s president in a helicopter crash until the acceptable opinion comes to light and he can claim it as his own.

Tom Booker, aged 29, is aware that the death of Ebrahim Raisi is not something he is qualified to have views on, happening as it has during a period of inflamed tensions in the Middle East, so is waiting to see which thoughts will meet with agreement on social media.

He said: “Death is obviously tragic, but then again this guy was known as the Butcher of Tehran. So let’s hold fire on the mourning.

“He restricted how women could dress and live and was openly homophobic, all of which screams ‘bad guy’ to me, but then Palestine. Not being caught out on that again. I’ll let the dust settle before I extend my deepest condolences.

“It’s tricky with these stories where there are so many moving parts. Russia and China have paid their respects and I’m generally against them. But wasn’t he against Western imperialism? That’s bad too.

“Also it seems entirely accidental, which is suspicious. I don’t want to be caught out if by 5pm it’s been decided it was a a black op by Mossad and the CIA and everyone’s laughing at my naivety. Best keep it shut until I can parrot what’s correct.”

Iranian Kamal Naderi said: “I totally get it. I was exactly the same when Alistair Darling died last year.”