International

CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.

A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.

A MEMBER of Gibraltar’s monkey population feels more European than British, he has confirmed.

THE best way to make Britain great again is to invade resource-rich territories and enslave their people, Boris Johnson has claimed.

EU LEADERS are puzzled about why Britain wrote them a letter in the age of electronic communication.

PEOPLE who are generally not that engaged with world events have stepped up to defend stretchy jogging bottoms.

A PASSENGER on a Jeddah-London flight has explained that while laptops may be banned he has a MacBook, which is different.

GCHQ HAS confirmed that Donald Trump’s private communications are nothing but the same meaningless bollocks he says in public.

THERESA May is betting the future of the UK on a gigantic wild guess about how Scottish people react to things.

THERESA May has told Scotland that if they just gave the Brexit a proper try they would absolutely love it.