International

TOP economists have urged the government to consider shooting bundles of £50 notes into the sea as an alternative to a no-deal Brexit.

DONALD Trump has employed theoretical physicists to create infinite lines of taste and decency he can eventually cross.

BREXIT secretary David Davis is on his way home from Brussels after Google abolished the European Union.

THE DUP is to get £1bn of taxpayers money to spend on very large paintings of fat men in bowler hats and orange sashes.

ALL of David Davis’ Brexit talks have been with a random Belgian man he mistook for EU negotiator Michel Barnier, it has emerged.

EU CITIZENS have been told if they can manage five consecutive years in the twat factory that is Britain, they can stay for life.

DAVID Davis has told a room full of people who can speak German that if it was not for Britain they would all be speaking German.

ENGLAND has been surprised to learn that not everyone in Scotland is a foul-mouthed manual worker on the minimum wage.

DAVID Davis was forced to surrender his trousers during the first day of Brexit talks, it has been confirmed.

JEAN Claude Juncker has opened Brexit negotiations with the UK by chuckling away like an easily amused child.