International

THE fake news media is busily reporting all kinds of lies and nonsense while ignoring the real story about how America is becoming great again, a source has claimed. 

A WOMAN has told rescuers than floating in the sea for ten hours was more enjoyable than being on a cruise ship.

ALTHOUGH the Royal Family brings in a large number of tourists, they are the absolute worst, it has been confirmed.

PRESIDENT Trump is lavishing $150m on the Aberdeen golf course where he will live out his days in exile from the USA.

BREXIT is looking forward to flying out for 14 nights all-inclusive at a beach resort in Cuba, it has confirmed. 

DONALD Trump has denied being this ‘President Trump’ who has apparently done something bad.

PRESIDENT Trump has nervously given Putin a handwritten list of all the people he would like to have killed.

THE EU has asked if this is a bad time to mention that May’s Chequers Brexit plan is bollocks that they reject completely. 

DONALD Trump's team have explained that it is necessary put migrant children in cages and also they like doing it.

MELANIA Trump is to put her interior design skills to good use by redecorating North Korea, it has been confirmed.