International

DONALD Trump is to conduct the rest of 'presidency' while balancing a shotgun across the back of his neck and chewing on a piece of grass.

THE global population has asked Donald Trump to name his price for f**king off and never coming back.

DAVID Davis has tried to sneak a number of things he has been trying to sell online into the Brexit deal, it has been confirmed.

DONALD Trump has clarified his position on violent white supremacists by confirming that he really likes being 'hailed'.

SENIOR White House staff are attempting to teach President Trump the difference between sensitive international diplomacy and trash-talking a Hell In A Cell opponent.

MASTERING a foreign country's postal system to send two sentences to a relative ruins holidays, Britain has agreed.

NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed.

ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.

PRESIDENT Trump has left a 32,000-word out-of-office email message, including discussion of the electoral college and his daughter’s business, for while he is away.

WAITERS across Europe have agreed that there is no need for holidaying Britons to dumbly point at menus because they are always having chips.