THE Catholic Church has told the Archbishop of Canterbury as far as they are concerned he has done nothing wrong and is welcome anytime.
Graciously putting aside their previously insurmountable differences over same-sex marriage, the Immaculate Conception and women priests, the Catholic Church is ready to receive the Most Reverend Justin Welby into their ranks.
Pope Francis said: “It’s important to focus on what unites us rather than what divides us. And right now, he and much of the upper echelon of the Vatican have a lot in common.
“Accusations of full knowledge of systematic abuse for over a decade, and doing nothing about it? Sounds like our kind of blind eye. Come over, Justin. You’ll feel right at home.
“Bad apples like John Smyth QC are always going to happen. I’ve lost count of our wrong ‘uns. But what matters to me is that the Archbishop put the church first, as God commands.
“All he has to do is believe in transubstantiation, denounce Henry VIII for splitting us up all those centuries ago, and recognise me as Christ’s vicar on Earth and his boss. Pop over an email, fella. See you soon. ”
Welby said: “What a great bunch of guys. I knew they’d understand.”
