BRITAIN’S men are in agreement that chilling on the sofa, in the pub or in the shed is up there with hiking or windsurfing as an activity. 

While to observers they seem to be seated and staring into the middle distance with dead eyes, men insist that chilling is a strenuous pursuit and definitely not mental dormancy.

Tom Booker from Stanford said: “Yeah, I spent the whole weekend chilling. Can barely move my arms today because they’re sore from chilling so hard.

“I was up early for a brisk 45-minute chill in bed, then limbered up a marathon four-hour chill in front of the telly. I chilled so hard I don’t even know what was on.”

Fellow man Wayne Hayes said: “Chilling is complicated. It’s both activity and inactivity. Like Buddhist meditation, only more challenging.

“You have to wear specialised clothing like unwashed joggers and it requires equipment like a chair with your arse groove worn into it. And take frequent breaks, because it can be dangerous to overdo it.

“Women don’t understand chilling. They think it should involve going on picnics or meeting their friends, but as any man knows those factors risk torpedoing the vibe.”