Celebrity

MEGHAN Markle has told her mother that she is marrying into the reality TV family known as the ‘English Kardashians’. 

THERESA May has thanked Meghan Markle for creating a temporary distraction from the never-ending shit-show the Tories have created.

PRINCE Harry has asked girlfriend Meghan Markle if she’d like to be the subject of future speculation about her mysterious disappearance.

THE stars of Mrs Brown’s Boys are accumulating as much money as possible before their audience sobers up and realises the show is an abomination.

BRITAIN has suggested that if the Queen wants to avoid tax she could at least do up her own house with her own money.

ED SHEERAN'S right arm has broken itself in a desperate attempt to save the world from his music.

CHAT show host James Corden has confirmed that he is ‘truly sorry’ about his personality.

JACOB Rees-Mogg is to adopt Fall frontman Mark E Smith after mistaking him for a Manchester street urchin, it has emerged.

A MAN who has Morrissey’s lyrics tattooed on his body is finally starting to realise the former Smiths frontman is an arsehole.

A RABBIT has thanked Hugh Hefner for making people think he is a sex symbol, not just a boring herbivore.