Celebrity
Masterchef 'an elaborate cannibal ploy to fatten up Greg Wallace'
THE cannibals behind TV's Masterchef planned to eat Greg Wallace when he reaches sufficient plumpness, it has emerged.
Royal foetus planning typical royal lifestyle
THE royal foetus plans to get a pair of mediocre A-levels, have a brief military career or set up an unsuccessful cake business, it has emerged.
It had better not be ginger, Queen warns Harry
IF Kate Middleton's baby has red hair there is going to be big trouble, the Queen has warned Prince Harry.
Kate Middleton breached my privacy, says orangutan
THE orangutan photographed by Kate Middleton is seeking damages, it has emerged.
Peaches Geldof pregnant with herself
PEACHES Geldof has revealed she is due to give birth to herself in less than two months.
Mervyn King is an emo
BANK of England chief Mervyn King likes alternative rock and spiked wristbands, it has emerged.