A WOMAN in a new relationship has faked a notional interest in anal sex in order not to offend. 

Emma Bradford, aged 26, hinted at the proclivity because she felt it was good manners to do so, while remaining vague about any real world applications.

She said: “He raised the possibility, I think in jest, but it felt awfully rude to turn him down flat and I didn’t want to ruin the mood. So, ladylike, I dropped a teasing little hint.

“Unfortunately he seems to have taken it as more of a promise. And it’s now a bit awkward telling him that I don’t like anal and no woman does, it’s ridiculous when there’s a perfectly serviceable fanny right next door.

“But it’s difficult to know how to let him down gently without disappointing the poor lamb. I don’t want a confrontation. Just for him to realise I only suggested he could because I’ve had a good upbringing, and the considerate thing to do would be to never ask.”

Boyfriend Ryan Whittaker said: “I was astonished and a bit intimidated when Emma said she does it up the arse. Naturally I had to pretend I was keen or it would be churlish.

“But truth is I’ve never done it and don’t much want to. Still, I don’t want to seem ungrateful so I suppose I must.”