Business

A NEW children's credit card has been launched to promote instant gratification.

PARTNERSHIP candidates at Goldman Sachs are asked to get creative with a kitten and a range of power tools, it has emerged.

A NEW 'crowd-funding' website, wankerschemes.com, allows dickheads with stupid ideas to get money from idiots.

WHATEVER is still left of your pension fund is to be taken to a greenfield site on the edge of your town and burned.

STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.

BRITISH Gas has composed a prayer to Ullr, the Norse God of Snow.

BAE Systems and EADS have decided to cancel their planned merger, after a robot from the future threatened to kill everyone involved.

YOUR boss does not understand why your are so angry about a simple plan to make it easier to fire you.