Arts & Entertainment

VICTORIA Beckham's breasts have become Scientologists as part of a daring strategy to carve out an independent life for themselves in Los Angeles.  

SIR Terry Wogan and Gaby Roslin are to host a massive ‘snitch-athon’  to encourage the general public to inform on their friends, neighbours and colleagues.

THE Spice Girls are re-uniting to take their glittering “Avarice” show on tour citing a deep love of money as the driving force that brought them back together.

TONY Blair and George Bush are set to invade the music charts after forming a hillbilly jug band.

CENSORS have welcomed a new version of the controversial game Manhunt in which players rampage through Glastonbury wiping out solicitors pretending to be hippies for the weekend.

THE great nephew of Frodo Baggins has attacked the Lord of the Rings musical for 'playing fast and loose' with historical accuracy.

COLDPLAY frontman Chris Martin has delighted his army of fans by confirming he is to write a song all about tits.

JK ROWLING has revealed she is to write an eighth Harry Potter book after all, although the best selling author says she is through with “all that fantasy pish”.

CHANNEL 4 is to follow up its controversial Diana documentary with footage of the Queen Mother eating an absolutely gigantic sausage.

THE latest series of Big Brother kicked off last night with the unveiling of a house made up exclusively of idiots and half-wits.