Arts & Entertainment

TEENAGE rapper Wayne Hayes has penned a song about how he is leaving behind his life of crime, it has emerged.

A TEENAGER has vowed to shun anything of artistic value for the rest of his life.

SETTLING down with kids and a mortgage is an incredible achievement that surpasses anything else, according to a man whose other plans failed.

A MAN is hugely anticipating a weekend in July when he will be able to stay at home and not attend a music festival, it has emerged.

A FAN of Queen has realised that everything about the band is ridiculous.

THE writers of Radio 4 drama The Archers have been urged to kill off the entire village in an orgy of random violence.

THE BBC has unveiled an ambitious timetable to begin using actors who did not go to public school.

THE title of the film Batman v Superman makes absolutely no sense to most people, it has been confirmed.

THE BBC has been left red-faced after the ending to The Night Manager was revealed by a woman who has read the bestselling novel it is based on.

A FAMILY that ‘banned’ television now just knows f**k all about popular culture, it has emerged.