FOR the whole of 2024, the UK has existed in order to provide Taylor Swift with a concert venue. Now her gigs are over should we follow suit? 

Sophie Rodriguez, nail artist: “Yeah, there’s just no point to us any more. It would be like the Holy Land continuing after Jesus, and look what a f**k-up that’s been.”

Jack Brown, pavement artist: “We should rename the country Swift Eras Venue One in tribute and impose an authoritarian regime to crush any emotion not Swift-related.”

Carolyn Ryan, sandwich artist: “If we believe in ourselves, learn to put our wants first and know that we’re whoever we need to be, I think we could host another record-breaking run of gougingly-expensive concerts by an American star someday.”

Tom Logan, electrician: “I see England are playing Finland there in less than three weeks. My God. What a desecration.”

Steve Malley, tattoo artist: “Hey, she got out alive. Michael Jackson didn’t.”