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Here’s the ultimate Brexiter's guide to what is British and what will leave our shores forever when the Sacred Emerald is placed in the Queen’s crown to trigger Article 50.

Do you drink green tea because it’s good for you, even though it tastes like the boiled piss of the devil?

WE have entered the endgame for Brexit. These are the final days. And I am optimistic that a deal is possible within the next 48 hours as long as the EU completely reverses its position.

EVERYONE has guilty pleasures – Blue Ribands, Hollyoaks, the novels of Martina Cole – but do you have so many that it’s actually genuinely your taste, which is shit?

TELLING someone you love them is exciting, but ultimately all it does is lock you in a years long battle about whose turn it is to descale the kettle.

IS IT okay to hate someone because they don't eat the same food as you do? Or should you just mind your own fucking business?

Falling asleep while looking after small children is challenging, but not impossible, here's how:

Take our test to find out if you're doing things the right way or you're doing it like some sort of alien...

Bring your own aubergines.

ALCOHOL takes the edge of most difficult situations, but how can you make yourself feel better when getting hammered isn’t entirely appropriate?