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THE schism between England and the Catholic Church, widely considered the Brexit of the 16th century, decided our future for centuries.

Keep your neighbours guessing about your stance on the Royals by serving them a beautiful dish of Coronation swan.

WAKING in a cell at Scotland Yard, under armed guard and being ordered to reliquish the neck of a broken bottle in my hand, I recall what led me here.

THE call comes from his mobile number. He doesn’t bother to disguise his voice. And still he’s surprised to be called on his lie.

WHAT was Mad Men? It was the moment before you needed to binge-watch more episodes of Mad Men. Also it was overrated shite.

Gloucester’s pretty historical though that's of less interest to most visitors than the inside of the cathedral, built in the 14th century and filmed in the 20th as various parts of Hogwarts. Yeah.

IF music be the food of love, then why not fill her ears as well as all the other orifices? But just as in sex, one wrong chord and the moment’s dead.

Oh what, so you’re being crowned King are you? And I suppose you think that means you’re better than me?

WAKING on a beach on the east coast, surrounded by rum bottles and an empty can of petrol, I recall the events of the evening prior.

I’VE been feeling pretty right-wing lately, and not in a good way. A tawdry, failed way. But there’s nothing like four hours with a proper fascist to set you right.