Politics

THE Liberal Democrats are determined to stop Jeremy Corbyn becoming temporary prime minister, even if it risks a no-deal Brexit. Who would be a better choice?

BORIS Johnson’s lovers have confirmed that Jennifer Arcuri cannot have received 'favourable treatment' because he does not know what it means.

IDIOT voters, pundits and broadcasters are still referring to the prime minister as ‘Boris’ as if he were a cuddly children’s toy not a neo-fascist monster.

BORIS Johnson’s new Brexit plan must be brilliant because the DUP like it, but some critics are raising pootling, dunderheaded objections to it.

A KEEN Remainer is stockpiling self-righteousness in his garage in preparation for a no-deal Brexit.

THE Tory Party Conference is to finish with the obligatory demolition of a local comprehensive school.

THE Conservative party conference has won a place in the Guinness Book of Records for fitting the largest number of total bastards into one location.

BORIS Johnson is relieved that women still do not have the vote, it has emerged.

ARE you amazed at Boris Johnson’s ability to do terrible things with no repercussions? Here’s what would happen if you tried.

ONE is an outdated relic from 70s sitcom Citizen Smith, the other an outdated relic from 70s sitcom Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em. But which would make the best neighbour?