Politics

THE British public is smiling indulgently at a cute little tiny wee baby Trump lookalike that has been performing in the House of Commons.

AFTER two months as prime minister, Boris Johnson has lost his majority, every Commons vote and his prorogation. But has anyone been worse faster?

JACOB Rees-Mogg has asserted that as Leader of the Commons and England’s greatest living Victorian, the Queen is his servant.

BORIS Johnson has confirmed he will only end his premiership when every single one of the UK’s 65 million citizens has personally told him to f*ck off. 

BORIS Johnson has been beaten by the supreme court like a f**king gong at dinnertime, it has emerged.

BORIS Johnson will not resign if found to have lied to the Queen or about the other thing when as Mayor he gave cash to one of his shags. But what would make him?

ARE you a Brexiter unable to stop howling about democracy despite not knowing how it works? Here’s how to be a shouty, ill-informed w**ker.

THE prime minister is searching the whole of Britain to find a location he can visit without a member of the public tearing him a new ars*hole.

THE supreme court has decided that it will hear expert legal advice from the Mail Online comments section in today’s prorogation hearing.

REVIEWERS of David Cameron’s new memoir For The Record have confirmed that its index has no entry for the word ‘pig’.