Society

DAVID Cameron has announced there will be a referendum on whether the UK should go back to ‘the good old days’.

THE world is going to end just as everyone is turning their computer off ready for the Christmas break, it has emerged.

BRITAIN'S favourite TV chefs are trying to kill you.

THE human race has told 2012 to piss off two weeks early.

PEOPLE driving to work after a night of heavy drinking have denied that drunk feelings and drunkenness are the same thing.

SCIENTISTS have laughed in the face of the apocalypse from their nuclear bunker beneath a mountain.

BRITAIN will become a fully-integrated society when everyone can express their mutual contempt in the same language, Ed Miliband has claimed.

EXPERTS are urging Britons to start preparing their Christmas arguments no later than 5pm today.

THE success of Bavarian-style Christmas markets is due to a phenomenon that makes crud desirable when placed in a rustic-looking shed.