Society

THE UK Passport Office has insisted there would be no backlog in applications if everyone could just have the same name.

ALL women working in science have jacked it in to become bishops.

CONSTANTLY criticising your child’s school is a vital part of being a shit parent, it has been claimed.

THE possession of poor quality cannabis is no longer against the law, the government has confirmed.

BRITAIN is reeling under an onslaught of Pimm’s-fuelled violence and disorder due to forgetting that the summer drink is alcoholic.

TWITTER is being abandoned by users aged 16-24 in favour of the thriving and lawless Vanish Tip Exchange.

PEOPLE wearing expired festival wristbands are a limitless source of tiresome drug anecdotes, it has been claimed.

THE secret to being successful in business is posing for photographs with your arms crossed, studies have shown.

MEDIEVAL-STYLE surnames that describe a person’s job or characteristics are to be brought back, the government has announced.

TATTOO artists have been told to go back to using foreign languages by observers horrified by the trite sentiments of modern tattoos.