Society

ACCORDING to Stanley Johnson, most Britons lack the literacy to spell ‘Pinocchio’. Do you mangle the English language and earn the prime minister’s dad’s contempt?

A DAD putting his toddler to sleep then fell unconscious with a book on his lap for 72 hours, he has admitted.

BORIS Johnson has warned commuters who have to turn tricks to pay for their tickets that there will be more strikes under Labour.

A 42-YEAR-OLD man is raising his son to become a proper twat.

CHILDREN have confirmed that when Granny and Grandad come over to babysit only Granny actually does any work.

THE majority of English people think Scotland is a make-believe land of snow and monsters, it has emerged.

A BARBER was thrown into confusion after a customer indicated they were unhappy with the back of their hair.

A WOMAN has been thrown out of Waitrose by staff and other customers for attempting to use a 'bag for life' from Asda.

UNSURE whether you’re Generation X, Millennial or Boomer? Don’t know which other generation you should hate most?

DEBATE has been raging over what it means to be in the top five per cent of earners, but could you also be in the top five per cent of w*nkers?