Society

THE return of homeschooling has once again seen educated, high-earning professionals wondering if they are actually shit-thick. Take our quiz and find out.

CHILDREN are dreadful regardless of whether they have had sugar, it has emerged.

WITH no one else to organise or pressure into taking part in tedious fundraising events, a PTA mum has started bossing herself around.

A DRIVER who believes cyclists are a menace he should not share a road with is also dead against cycle lanes, he has confirmed.

THE Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has admitted that pigeons are a rough bunch of bastards who bring the other birds down.

A PLUMBER who works 12 hours a day, seven days a week to keep up with demand wishes people would stop pestering him with bloody jobs they want doing.

A BREXITER has big-heartedly agreed to accept apologies from Remainers for all their terrible lies and smears.

WITH 2021 getting off to a miserable start, here are some tone-deaf phrases to use if you want to make the situation even worse.

GCSES and A-levels are cancelled and I, your teacher Mr Logan, will be deciding your grades based on one term’s work and my grudges. Which is fine because qualifications are bollocks.

AS we start a new year, everyone is convinced 2021 cannot possibly be as bad as 2020. They're right. It could be worse.