A BREXIT voter will not be happy even if leaving Europe works out, because of her bad personality.
35-year-old Emma Bradford was pleased to see the post-referendum economy performing better than expected but she still hates everyone and is always in a foul mood.
She said: “When we won I really thought this might be the thing that makes me feel good about myself.
“I felt like we had beaten foreigners, and those lefty pinko Guardian readers, and the girls from school whole stole my bike when I was nine which I have never really gotten over.
“It’s great that house prices haven’t collapsed or whatever but unfortunately I am still quite mean and negative. Like if the intern at work makes me a cup of tea I’ll say it’s wrong without even tasting it or making eye contact, so that he has to do it again.
“I thought winning at Brexit would be the cure for my spiteful character but now I realise I didn’t even care about it that much in the first place, which almost makes me feel moodier than before.
“I want to change but I’m not sure how. Maybe I need a kitten and a boyfriend who isn’t married.”