NASA’S redesigned Mars rover is the new status symbol for middle class Britain.
The six-wheeled space buggy, dubbed ‘Curiosity’, is the first vehicle of its kind to be made available to the everyday wealthy.
It features a laser capable of vaporising rocks, oncoming traffic and the people formerly knows as a ‘chavs’. Meanwhile its insane cost and astonishing inefficiency have made it the first major middle class vehicle fad since Range Rovers became too ‘Guy Ritchie’.
West London-based architect Emma Bradford said: “I’m going to convert the spare bedroom into a kind of mission control, with banks of monitors allowing me to chart the buggy’s movements as it takes my children to school.”
Graphic designer Tom Logan said: “You never know when you might have to drive to an alien planet to collect rock samples.”
An extensive television advertising campaign for Curiosity will show the vehicle trundling across the surface of Mars while attractive Martian women give it admiring glances and wave their tentacles appreciatively.
Director Stephen Malley said: “It’s not the fastest and frankly it looks like a shitter version of the 80s toy Big Trak, so we relied heavily on fast cuts and loud ‘dad rock’ music.
“But something this expensive and inefficient should sell itself. Plus, the new Bond will feature Daniel Craig driving one into a massive, vagina-esque crater.”
