THE Daily Mail and Daily Express are to continue proclaiming the greatness of Boris Johnson at every opportunity despite him having no role in British politics.
The newspapers have agreed the Conservative party that turned on their beloved Boris no longer holds any appeal for them and, like Take That fans in 1996, they will continue to follow their favourite instead.
Mail editor-in-chief Paul Dacre, to be made a Lord in the resignation honours list, said: “Politics is too complex for the addled minds of our ageing readership. But they love Boris.
“So we’re dropping the whole ‘current affairs’ side of things – the BBC covers it, therefore it’s left-wing – and concentrating on coverage of reader favourites like Nadine Dorries, Jacob Rees-Mogg and of course our hero.
“Every headline will be Boris. Every double-page spread will extol his greatness. Our headline on the eve of the next election will be ‘Barnstorming Boris’s after-dinner address in Boston blows them away’.
“F**k the Tories, they’re dead to us. F**k Brexit, it’s turned out shit. Boris is our one eternal lodestar which will never fade.”
Left-winger Joe Turner said: “I get it. I feel the exact same way about Jeremy Corbyn.”
