International

IRAN last night offered to perform Sir Salman Rushdie's forthcoming knighthood ceremony saying recent television footage suggested the Queen was no longer "up to the job". 

POLICE in Jamaica have closed their 26-year investigation into the death of Bob Marley and admitted the reggae superstar was not murdered by wizards.

IRAN has abandoned theocracy and signed a four year deal with Disney after two hours of talks with the US Government yesterday.