Health

A MAN who has been promising to "go for a run tomorrow" for five years definitely means it this time.

A WOMAN who works long hours, never sees her friends and worries about her job constantly thinks she is doing very well at life, she has confirmed.

A CHILD with measles was told it is because daddy stays up late reading utter bullshit on the internet and bases decisions on that.

A WOMAN who treated herself to a ‘cheeky takeaway’ is subsequently indulging herself in a cheeky bout of gastroenteritis, she has confirmed.

A COUPLE who thought it would be romantic to swim naked in a tranquil river have ended up with a nasty dose of diarrhoea and some tetanus booster jabs.

A VAPE user doesn’t believe that inhaling gallons of flavoured nicotine mist might be somehow be unhealthy.

Read our guide to convincing people you’re doing enough exercise.

MIDDLE-AGED people have asked the younger fitness-obsessed generation what sex is like when you aren't drunk.

ACROSS the UK, teenager boys have finished school for the summer and built the chrysalises in which they will spend the next six weeks.

A MAN who believed hay fever was a trivial ailment that wimps enjoy complaining about has changed his mind after getting it himself.