Health

CHILDBIRTH is to be made longer and more painful amid fresh claims it has been 'dumbed-down' to meet Government targets.

EVERY NHS patient will be allocated a hospital acquired infection with their name on it, under government plans for a personal health service. 

MILLIONS of people in the UK have a genuine intolerance for Carol Vorderman, new research suggests.

DIETARY experts have moved to end confusion over healthy eating by confirming that a packet of Opal Fruits does count towards the five-a-day target.

THE definition of the moment of death is to be redrawn to include anyone watching the cable television channel LivingTV, doctors announced last night. 

THE NHS is in imminent danger of collapse because skilled staff and vital equipment are being squashed flat by obese people, a new report warns. 

EVERY pregnant woman in Britain is to be given a 16 foot-long carrot, the government has announced.

TEENAGE binge drinkers are having a great time getting totally wrecked with their mates and generally having a huge laugh, a new study has found.

EVERY parent in Britain is to be charged with the attempted murder of their own offspring under the latest Government proposals to combat child obesity.

Brain surgery exams are to be made much easier because not enough people are applying to become brain surgeons, the Government has announced.