Environment

House spiders must prove they are catching flies

SPIDERS living rent-free in houses must provide evidence that they are actually killing flies.

Humans undecided on total destruction of nature versus having cool stuff

HUMANITY is conflicted over whether it is worth decimating the planet to maintain the supply of desirable consumer goods.

Pony does not really see himself as meat

WILD pony Tom Logan has revealed ambitions other than becoming pie filling.

Earth hates Sting

PLANET Earth has confirmed that it really does not like Sting.

Essex to become super sewer

ESSEX is to be turned into a gigantic sewage outflow for the city of London.

Wild mushrooms hoping for bumper vomit crop

THE 2014 fungi crop is hoping to induce more cases of projectile vomiting after a disappointing 2013.

Most British wildlife now living in abandoned DVD libraries

THE majority of Britain’s hedgehogs, moles and hares have made homes in derelict DVD libraries.

Slugs teleport into houses

SLUGS get into kitchens by teleporting, it has emerged.

Water voles propose new food chain

ENDANGERED water voles have designed a revised food chain where nothing eats them.

Geese think they are hard

GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.