HI, I’m Noel Fielding, the quasi-Goth comedian who confused everyone by turning up on Bake Off. Here are my everyday fashion tips for all occasions:
Presenting a nationally-loved baking show
When appearing with Pru Leith in her blocky 80s primary colours, it’s best to think minimalist – something elegant and understated, like an oversized bright red angora jumper coming down to my knees and adorned with crocheted sticking-out tongues. A style classic.
Getting a Nando’s
Nando’s calls for something with ease of movement for easy soft drinks refills. I suggest stacked black boots and a red cape decorated with mini felt coronavirus bobbles, for easy swooping between tables.
Being team captain on Never Mind the Buzzcocks
The ideal time for a series of silk shirts that make you look like an 80s band member crossed with Dracula after a heavy night’s drinking. Complete the look with a classic accessory, such as a Brownie’s necktie or a pair of furry ear muffs. Thick, badly-applied eyeliner is optional.
Popping to Asda
You don’t want to stick out in the local Asda because you never know when a kid is going to shout ‘Cake wanker!’ and throw an orange at you, so go for something discreet and practical such as a silk camisole in baked bean print topped with an Astrakhan puffa jacket, a top hat and twirly cane.
Dental check-up
Many people dread the dentist’s, so it’s important not to scare anyone in the waiting room. A full skeleton costume and a waistcoat embroidered with teeth, along with some fire-engine red cowboy boots, should do the trick nicely.
