Alcohol

LAST night was a heavy one. But are these overwhelming feelings of pain, sickness and despair you’re feeling alcohol-induced, or have you awoken in the Lancashire town of Burnley?

A CAT thought to be missing has actually just been pissing it up with his mates for the last four days.

A MAN has agreed to work this Saturday under the illusion that his boss was aware that he would be a little bit drunk.

A PUB has made the strange decision to play extremely crap music at a deafening volume despite it being loathed by everyone including the staff.

YOU popped into the pub at lunchtime ‘for one’ and now you’re feeling surprisingly shitfaced. So how can you conceal it from your colleagues? Read our guide.

YOU'RE four pints in. The highlight of your evening is behind you. But is it ever ethically defensible to say ‘Right lads, I don’t want to spend another 30 quid to feel like shit, I’m off home?’

RECENTLY a Wetherspoons refused to serve two homeless men. So how can you make sure you are not turned away from this elite drinking establishment? Read our guide.

BRITAIN is still the best country in the world for consuming lager and gravy, with the average adult putting away eight pints of each per week.

A MAN who has given up drinking has been confronted with the risks and ramifications of his decision in a dramatic intervention by his friends.

A MAN’s decision to get wasted in a pub was in no way influenced by a witty chalkboard message inviting him to come inside.