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Man drunk before getting dressed

A MAN has managed to get completely shitfaced before getting out of his dressing gown for the third day in a row.

Joseph Turner started the day with a shot of whisky in his coffee and then cracked a can of lager at 7.45am in a bid to ‘keep the spirit of Christmas alive’.

Partner Sophie Turner said: “Since Christmas Day he’s been a man on a mission from the minute he wakes up. I guess if you only have a very brief period when morning drinking is allowed, you have to make the most of it.

“At breakfast he insisted on making Buck’s Fizz, again. I thought having some food with it might sober him up, but when I was clearing the table I realised he’d had Baileys on his Rice Krispies.

“He did eventually manage to dress himself, then sat down in front of the telly to watch a film with the kids and a large glass of wine. He’d passed out by 11am.

“I’ll let him sleep it off until dinner, and give whichever kid can throw a Nurofen Plus into his open, snoring mouth in the meantime extra Yule log.”