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News Briefly

3D to add extra dimension to professional tennis players

Hair transplant transforms Rooney into thuggish, foul-mouthed user of prostitutes, with hair

Universities failing to raid homes of people who are just studying there

Aren't Tories horrid, Cable tells unions

Relief as 'Norfolk's Justin Bieber' appears to be normal, human boy

Three year-old with an IQ of 160 shits absolutely everywhere

Meat relieved that vegetables are getting some flak for a change

SAS at home with feet up, as ever

Britain at war over the usual shit

Libyan conflict enters mental helicopters phase