Features

HOW to solve any crime yourself without bothering the police.

I LIKE to move around the shelves, rubbing myself over the displays.

THE privileged young elite among Wetherspoon pub customers have been documenting their exploits on Instagram.

MY first wee problem in that the smell of bamboo is giving me the boke.

IT’S here and it's fine, except that it might render entire counties uninhabitable.

IF I do not hear from you I will assume it is because I am not black or in ownership of a vagina.

I, CALIGULA, have been the mastermind behind the Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games!

THE room they've given me here at Pinewood Studios could be better.

THIS week I visited the set of the marvelous sitcom Game of Thrones.

MY favourite kind of loaf is the one with all the seeds in it that my wife gets.