Agony Aunt

Everyone at school is desperate for the teachers' strike to happen so that we get free holidays too.

You'll still have plenty of fun writing rude words on the kitchen cupboards with a Sharpie.

I hadn't heard of any of them except Cherie Blair and she's not at all pretty.

You start off with a few Ribenas and next thing you know, you're offering Brown Owl a head massage.

Free school dinners are like free dog turds.

Until now, us Directioners have focused mostly on soft targets like Taylor Swift.

Such a deep level of idiocy can't simply be learned, it must be innate.

If you don't believe me, watch The War of the Roses.

The only one worth a second look made an awful rhubarb and custard mess.

If I were to attack him with a claymore, Rob Roy-style, would it damage my chances in the 2014 Referendum?