STRICTLY dancer Graziano Di Prima is in trouble after bullying allegations, and it’s just the latest anodyne family viewing show that turned out to be living a lie:
Animal Hospital, 1994-2004
Nothing could be more wholesome than a show about a nice vet and his caring staff who save the lives of cute little hamsters, dogs and kittens. Especially if the presenter is a fixture of your childhood, known for his giant paintings and funny songs. It’s a miracle that anyone who grew up in the 70s has ever trusted another human being again.
Strictly Come Dancing, 2004-ongoing
It is alleged that Graziano Di Prima hit, kicked and spat on his partner Zara McDermott. Assault, and worryingly reminiscent of a controlling boyfriend who has to crush his partner’s self-esteem. Not like the old Curse of Strictly which merely caused marriages to break up. That’s fun to gossip about at work and therefore fine.
The Friday Night Project, 2005-2009
For viewers, the project was getting drunk in front of the television every Friday. This was a tolerable accompaniment, hosted by Jimmy Carr, Allan Carr and Justin Lee Collins. Remember him? Long-haired West Country comedian convicted of harassment of an ex-girlfriend? Treated her vilely and kept a dossier of her sexual past? Not been seen since?
Jim Davidson’s Generation Game, 1995-2002
Disinterred in the 90s as a Davidson vehicle because Big Break wasn’t enough, this saw families complete tasks while viewers at home muttered ‘Microwave, cuddly toy, cup of tea, why’s that racist on primetime telly again, the BBC no less?, scented candles, hairdryer, gave your wife a black eye tossing her a set of car keys, did you, Jimbo? Yeah right.’
It’s A Knockout, 1971-1988
Members of the public, wearing huge foam rubber outfits, attempting to complete absurd tasks for entertainment? A TV staple for more than a decade? Had its very own Royal edition? Presented by Stuart Hall, who later pleaded guilty to multiple counts of indecent assault stretching throughout his career? Ah.
Jim’ll Fix It, 1975-1994
The big one. Jimmy Savile polluted our happiest memories, such as sitting in front of the TV with a glass of Kia-Ora watching a fat kid meet Showaddywaddy. Made worse because every child had written to him at least once with our heart’s desire, like driving the car from The Spy Who Loved Me. All television should be cancelled.
