TOMORROW night sees a clash of titans only Americans care about as the Philadelphia Eagles take on Taylor Swift in Superbowl LIX. Can she win?
Ryan Whittaker, barman: “It’s actually not Taylor Swift, it’s Taylor Swift’s boyfriends.”
Emma Bradford, canal dredger: “She is gonna be motivated and pissed after losing the Grammys to Beyoncé. I hope she piledrives those East Coast f**ks into the goddamn ground.”
Hannah Tomlinson, graphologist: “I’m sorry, it’s Superbowl LIX? Why not go all the way to Superbowl SUX or Superbowl BLOWZ? Really make that subtext text.”
Nathan Muir, leaf blower: “Forget the sport, I’m all about the halftime show! Who is it? Kendrick Lamar? Who the bloody hell is that?”
Sue Traherne, picture framer: “I believe that any British person who understands the rules of American football should lose their citizenship.”
