A NEW VAR system to correct bad VAR decisions is to be introduced in a bid to eliminate human error from football once and for all.
Officials have confirmed that there will be Video Assistant Referees watching decisions made by Video Assistant Referees who are watching decisions of on-field referees.
FA spokesperson Tom Logan said: “The idea of VAR was to ensure objective truth and put an end to all controversy in football.
“But somehow this hasn’t happened, and we currently have a system that has sucked the joy and spontaneity out of any goal celebration, while being just as error-prone as the bad old days. It’s clear there is only one solution: more VAR.
“Putting up with incredibly lengthy delays while we review every single VAR decision is a price worth paying as our extra tier of scrutiny will ensure the accuracy of marginal factors in offside decisions such as eyelash length.
“Of course, this new VAR system will be run by humans, and therefore not completely infallible, which is why we are developing a new generation of robot analysts to replace them.
“Yes, these robots might develop self-awareness and destroy humanity, but this is a price worth paying to ensure that Marcus Rashford’s nose was definitely onside in the build-up to a goal.”
