Sport Headlines

THE national side of the Vatican, led by player-manager Pope Francis, has beaten Romania to win a place in the World Cup finals.

LONDON’S Olympic Stadium should be filled with soup to nourish the entire nation, it has been claimed.

RUGBY is to end after admitting defeat in the battle for ball game supremacy.

BT SPORT has bought the rights to the Champions League as part of a plan to eradicate football.

THE Red Devils are to renew their longstanding commitment to Satan in a ceremony before their home game this Sunday.

ARSENAL manager Arsené Wenger has offered to pay in full any bets on his club winning the Premier League.

SKY Sports is launching a new subscriber-only channel focused entirely on sporting event handshakes.

THE two Yorkshire stages of the Tour de France will include the county's pensioners in homemade comedy vehicles.

SIR Alex Ferguson’s new book has revealed that United failed to win even the League Cup during his 26 years in charge.

JOSE Mourinho has blasted the FA after a referee made him breathe the same dirty air as fans of Chelsea FC.