Sport Headlines
Big Indifferent Land 3, Small Inexplicably Angry Land 2
BIG Indifferent Land snatched victory over Small Inexplicably Angry Land at Wembley last night leading to indifference and anger.
Qatar to create new ice age for 2022 World Cup
QATAR plans to trigger an ice age to cool the Earth sufficiently for it to host the World Cup.
Luis Suarez quotes Martin Luther King
FOOTBALLER Luis Suarez has delivered an impassioned speech inspired by history's greatest orators.
Ferdinand in hair appointment clash
RIO Ferdinand has pulled out of the England squad after a hairdressing appointment mix-up.
Next Reading boss to be abstract concept
THE shortlist for the new Reading manager includes ennui, empathy and a sense of unfulfillable longing.
Ferguson able to receive visitors
A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.
Bradford celebrates better season than Arsenal
BRADFORD City celebrated its 5-0 thrashing yesterday by comparing its season to Arsenal’s.