Politics

WHILE Germany and Italy impound yachts, legislation in the Commons today gives foreign miscreants a punishing timetable to follow.

BRITONS are genuinely shocked by useless former minister Gavin Williamson getting a knighthood. Here we answer your understandable questions about this baffling event.

AN MP has defended his £2200 pay rise by reminding his constituents he can no longer claim for any old shit he fancies on expenses.

FORGET everything you knew about the old Matt Hancock. I’m back and I’m more nauseatingly in love than ever before.

RUSSIA invading Ukraine? Millions of refugees? In desperate need of urgent help? And you’ve fallen for that, have you?

NIGEL Farage and Jeremy Corbyn have woken up in bed together after realising they were not so different all along. 

AFTER months stuck at home watching Boris Johnson’s popularity plummet, we’re finally free to celebrate the blatant distraction which is ‘Freedom Day’. So what are you doing?

WHILE Germany is piddling around cutting off their own gas supply to spite the Russians, I am leading the way by imposing these truly pitiless sanctions.

IT is unrealistic to imagine we can eradicate Boris. Every previous attempt to do so has failed. Instead we must face that Boris is now part of life and learn to live with it.

WONDERING how schools will teach sensitive topics in a non-biased way? Read the government’s new advice for tackling thorny subjects.