Politics

BARONESS Mone has explained that she instructed her lawyers to repeatedly lie about her involvement in selling faulty PPE because she is innocent of any crime.

ALL small boats crossing the Channel have halted their sailings immediately after the Rwanda bill passed its second reading.

WHAT have we come to when a five-year-old tot is begging his father to stop uncontrolled immigration? It’s disgusting that such a true thing should definitely have happened.

WHO are the same few right-wing lunatics once again threatening to bring down the government over bullshit? We wearily re-introduce them.

A BUSY mum has urged MPs to back the Rwanda bill because she simply does not have room in her life for a general election right now.

A MAN Britain has still not forgiven for lying to them and a man who came third in a little-watched reality show are the dream ticket for the Conservative party, apparently.

A SLENDER branch from the Magic Money Tree has been gifted to Rwanda for taking away asylum seekers, it has emerged.

IMMIGRATION minister Robert Jenrick has quit the cabinet and Britain for the ‘earthly paradise’ of Rwanda.

RWANDA is now perfectly safe for migrants because I, James Cleverly, signed something saying so. And, drunk with power, I also declare these activities safe forever.

THE right-wing voters the Conservatives are wooing with a reduction in legal immigration are shaking their heads at this woeful underestimate of their prejudice.