WHEN Just Stop Oil block roads, Britain’s press hint that vehicular manslaughter would not be, in this case, a crime. Does the same apply to yesterday’s farming protest?
YES: Driving is sacred
As a driver, and a member of a ‘hardworking family’ to boot, you are more important than anyone else and have every right to run down hippy scum. Are farmers violating the sanctity of our precious inner London roads? Squish their guts out as if they were disrespectful hedgehogs.
NO: Tractors are big
Even an Audi SUV will come out of a collision with a tractor badly. Unless you’re driving a bulldozer or taking your Chieftain tank to Bovington Tankfest it’s not really an option. So, as the farmers have the larger and more robust vehicles, their cause is just and their presence justified.
YES: Emergency services must not be obstructed
Whatever your principles, fire engines and ambulances need to get through. The press repeatedly made this point about Just Stop Oil and Extinction Rebellion protests, so it cannot somehow magically not apply to farmers.
NO: This somehow magically does not apply to farmers
Oh come on, ambulances can probably find a way round. There are loads of roads in Britain. Paramedics live on adrenalin, they’ll savour the challenge. And a few haemorrhages in an ambulance is a small price to pay for our beloved Brexity farmers.
YES: Society has to respond to massive disruption
Your protest may have a valid point, but society must function. That means tough prison sentences for disruptors to act as a deterrent. The police are no doubt arresting the farmers right now and they’ll get the same draconian sentences as Just Stop Oil protestors. Either that, or they’re pretending farmers didn’t block Whitehall for the third time in a year.
NO: Sometimes morality overrides the law
Climate change protestors are students high on drugs and trust funds. Farmers are fighting for the noble and selfless cause of paying less tax. When morality conflicts with the law, doing what is right takes precedence. Farmers are basically the French Resistance, if the Maquis had hated ramblers and townies more than they hated Nazis.
YES: Motorists must take the law into their own hands
When drivers, especially burly van drivers, rough up protestors the Daily Mail sends Sarah Vine along to cheer them on. When a mother on the school run drove her Range Rover into a Insulate Britain protestor, she became a social media hero. Owning a car gives you an innate sense of justice. Every driver knows that.
NO: These farmers look a bit tasty
Even the tubbier farmers yesterday look like they could single-handedly pull a cow out of a ditch. Those who’d happily drag a gangly student along the tarmac can, therefore, find ready excuses for not getting stuck in. ‘If it wasn’t for the farms we’d starve,’ is extremely convincing when the alternative is getting lamped.
