AN administrative error means everyone who voted to leave the EU will be deported in a matter of weeks, it has emerged.
The Home Office mistake will result in all Leave voters being relocated to destinations as varied as Islamabad and Brussels.
A government spokesman said: “We can’t reverse the decision because all our staff are busy with half-baked Brexit plans from David Davis, which are usually just something scribbled on a Post-it.
“Leavers will just have to show some Blitz spirit and get used to life in Finland or wherever. They’ll be given help to relocate, such as a suitcase full of baked beans and cornflakes.”
Pensioner Roy Hobbs said: “I’ve got to move somewhere called Aruba, which sounds like some African hellhole to me. I bet you won’t even be able to get a frozen Bird’s Eye Traditional Beef Dinner.”
