Columnists

By Karen Fenessey I MUST admit I am becoming steadily more bamboozled by British society. Whatever happened to the veneration in which we once held our monarchy? In days of yore, people had a much better sense of humour and any decent citizen would have let a tiny spot of racist horseplay slide. And if they were to take offence at the monarchy, they would be severely punished - just look at bonfire night. And Ireland.

Dispatches from Poppy SpaldingFRIDAY: BANGKOK THIS week finds me in Bangkok international airport, en route for Japan. My parents have forced me to abandon my beach hut in Phuket and go somewhere they can keep tabs on me. Once again, they’ve totally overreacted to some minor thing and say I must ring in the New Year with my Dad’s ex colleague, Mr Willets, and his Japanese wife. They say I’m putting my health at risk by beach hut living- even though I was learning important lessons about Christmas.

By Karen Fenessey AS an educator, I believe life should be a constant learning process and so I recently began driving lessons. Unexpectedly, driving has not only taught me so much about how to operate a car, but also about society. In particular, it has opened my eyes to the wonderful world of opportunity which is enjoyed by the disabled, but I must ask: should they really be allowed on the road?

Dispatches from Poppy SpaldingMONDAY: BANGKOKLAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.

By Karen FenesseyI THINK it's great America has taken a small step for man by electing a black president. But amidst all the hilarity, I must ask: when will enough be enough? How far do white folks have to go to convince the world we're sorry about slavery? And meanwhile, what about the compelling racial saga taking place right here on our own doorstep: Cheryl Cole's legendary heroics on the X Factor.

My Big Gap Year with Poppy SpaldingTHURSDAY: HANOI This week finds me in Hanoi, Vietnam - a place I've no real need to come to as I practically spent most of my childhood here. Not physically of course, but my Uncle Steve used to make us all watch Platoon every time we went over his house so I know this place like the back of my hand.

By Karen FenesseyAS an educationalist, it is my solemn duty to defend the state of our children's stomachs. Therefore it is incumbent upon me to point at all of those who support universal free school meals and call them 'Joey'.

AAAAAAAARGH! Aaaaaargh! HARDER! THANK YOU JESUS! AAAAAARGH! That's better.

Despatches from Poppy SpaldingThursday: MatamataTHIS week finds me in the Antipodean paradise of New Zealand, whose stunning landscapes were the inspiration for JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

IT'S all kinda sorta boring, innit? You know what it's like - travelling the world, doing concerts, staying in posh hotels, hanging out with famous people who happen to be your mum and dad's friends and eating in expensive restaurants – to be quite honest, I'd rather be blogging or watching people fall over on YouTube.